Thursday, January 1, 2015

The Screwtape Memo

A commenter on the Saker blog advocated sending 10000 russians to Syria in order to "butcher" ISIS. I imagine this guy is either stupid or provocative, but whatever his motivation, please, enough already with the butchering. I got this note the last time I was worshipping Satan. Evidently, Hell is virtually overflowing from the previous butcherings, not from lack of accommodations, but a huge bottleneck in HS*, partially related to sheer numbers, but mostly because of legacy criteria, (one strike, you're in). They haven't worked their way past about 1930 yet.  From the memo:

 "A lot of these new migrants have no records of behavior that might bar admittance; they mostly just seem to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Frankly, I believe the problem is external; that [redacted] is sending their less desirables along with our guys, for whatever reason, or our methods have worked too well, and that many are really that anxious to emigrate. It seems more likely that the higher value immigrants that we would like to see are still "hedging", and meanwhile  we're stretched simply processing in these draftees and slackers. We need more with some leadership and know-how and a proven record of service. 

This system was built to handle a couple of dozen daily, with a good mix of easily accommodated  and enthusiastic souls, along with the dregs, of course, but this mix is just toxic, and not in a good way. Where are Poppy, Cheney, Kissinger? Do they still have "other priorities"? I'd say they earned their rightful place, and about time. We need some help down here; even the demons are starting to just phone it in, but we are more than ready to resume the morale-boosting as soon as we get some new meat better quality initiates."

*Hell Security

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