The web has been helpful in my understanding of the ladies.
I previously thought that they were vain shallow argumentative drama queens that can never be happy because they would lose the valuable self-pity that powers their existence, but I now know that it's really because men don't "get it".
I'm thinking there might be an evolutionary perspective. Cave women developed personalities that would make going out in the cold and rain barefoot to kill mammoths and saber-tooths with pointy sticks seem relatively pleasant. Their genes were passed along to the offspring, along with those of the sneaky wieners who got back to the cave before the hunters returned. So modern humans are the product of generations of the unbearable mating with the unconscionable.
My other theory is they're putting something powerful in makeup and/or shoes that give the illusion of great beauty and sophistication followed by sadness and confusion and sense of the lost eden.
they trippin, boo!