King Charles Acceptance Speech

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    Many have closely observed Our entire life, and how its large and small dramas have played out, completely in public view, as a creature in a zoo, and may well consider me a bit of a pip, and rightly consider a powerless monarch to be a pip. Very well, but We have also been watching you. Not as closely, as that would be undignified, but in huge numbers and aggregates of loose sheep, dogs, and wolves, but less noble. A great noisy clown college at pledge week, a drunken country fair with a sleeping sheriff and everyone clamoring for more and mine.

   We say enough, and cease! The 400 year experiment has failed. It has joined the Choir Celestial. It is a dead parrot. Rebellion has failed.  Parliament has failed, and hardest to admit, a long line of Royalty has failed to even remind the people that they don't have to be ruled by least-common-denominator scoundrels and wallow in, at best, a numb and numbing, comfort, or daily wade between debt and more failure. Enough! It's frustrating and embarrassing to watch; like blind rats in a maze, exactly like my namesake described and predicted, before your political fathers slew him in an act that was not self-justifying, and more importantly, has not been proven justified by results, but the obvious case is the reverse. That the war of all against all has failed, is failing, and only fools expect the dawn to finally come on some bright future day. That war is long over, for All lost, and now there can be only arguing over terms of surrender.

These are Our terms. They are just, they are fair, they are:

We are Sovereign, Arbritary, and Final Authority. It can be no other way, as demonstrated by the Reductio ad absurdam "government" in the presently rebellious colonies of North America, and what's left of the Russian Empire; Tzar in all but name, indeed in each advanced "democracy", Absolute power, wielded by unscrupulous and fearful strivers, in no sure hands, but always dangerously in play with regular and predictable, horrible results. If you still believe that this can and should continue, then We must conclude that you do not possess the minimum capacity to rule yourself, and cannot be ruled, except harshly, which is undignified and generally to be avoided. Therefore you may freely depart Our dominions of the British Isles, we laying no claim to those colonies acquired after 1632, under no authority, and may your chains lay lightly on you.  For the rest, implicitly accepting Our Command, We pledge our Loyalty and labor, to the best of our ability, until God takes Us from Our blessed realm.